Morells , North cliff – A Wolf in Sheepskin .

Most of you might know the name due to it being acclaimed as a 5 star boutique hotel and exclusive wedding venue in North Cliff. They recently also opened a French style bistro at the venue, so this exclusive little place is now open to the public.

I’m a sucker for French cuisine (well anything French actually) but especially French food. Having read about the bistro on more than one platform, and finding ourselves wanting to try something new on Sunday, we set off for lunch with great expectations.

Let’s start off with the good shall we, and I urge you to read the following 2 – 3 sentences carefully, as this will be the full extent of the good:  The venue really is gorgeous and has a lovely ambiance,  feels like you’re sitting in a secret garden, when in fact you’re on the corner of 14^th Avenue. Everything is neat and clean, and you are welcomed by a man in a penguin tail tuxedo with top-hat and cane. The owner/manager is a very friendly lady, offering blankets should you be a little chilly by the water fountain.  

The bad: I will try to keep this short, but I will also tell I like it is. As picturesque as the setting is, quite the opposite is true for everything that follows; service (or rather lack thereof) and food.  Service:  As we were seated our waiter asked if we would like anything to drink, we order water while waiting for the wine list…which never arrived. We sat and admired the surroundings, and chatted for about 10min, with no waiter approaching our table again, after standing up to call someone, we received menus.

Again we waited roughly 10min to catch a waiter’s eye in order to place our food orders. When ordering, I specified that I would like the French Onion Soup for starter, and the Tomato Tart ( which is a starter) for main – our waiter confirmed with me that I would not like to order a main, but that I would like the second starter as a main instead, I confirmed this a 3^rd time.  Needless to say, I received both the above mentioned with the other starters, and one of the luncheon party did not received her starter. No one apologised for this mess-up, or for the delay in the correct missing starter being brought out when the rest of the table where just about done with our starters.

Mains arrived 45min after the starters have been cleared – also only after calling a waiter to ask what is the hold up. This time around, I did not receive the Tomato Tart, but a fillet of Salmon, which I advised was not my order. Again, no apology for the mess-up, or delay in receiving the tart – which was by no means re-made since being brought out an hour earlier, as this was stone cold, so the delay in bring me the correct, but cold, order is slightly baffling to me.

The ugly – or rather The Bad continued; I warned that there is not a lot of good about this one…Food:  Menu has a lovely variety, and descriptions are full of flavour. You really get excited when reading this, really actually mouth-watering. Unfortunately this is a complete hoax. Guaranteed the descriptions are looked up on the internet or in a proper French cookbook – but the food does not live up to this at all.

French Onion Soup is one of my favourite soups, due to the pure simplicity of the flavours, on this occasion every spoonful tasted like a mouthful of onion jam – now don’t get me wrong, I love a little dollop of onion jam on a melba toast with a slice of brie; but as a savoury onion soup – not so much. (and the cheesy baguette – turned out to be what looked like Parmesan powder?)

The tomato tart, which in the menu, is described as a Confit Tart Tartin, served with basil lentils and a poached egg and red wine reduction, came as a cold hard baked slab of puff pastry, with 4 cherry tomato’s half, a dessert spoonful of cold brown lentil (with a finely chopped green something – could have been basil, could have been grass, who knows?). The poached egg was a hard pan fried quail’s egg, and perhaps a teaspoonful of balsamic vinegar that is supposed to be the red wine reduction.

The Seared Pork shoulder turned out to be a piece of pork fillet, also cold – and underdone in the centre, wrapped in bacon, served with sweet potato mash, crumbed sweet potato, one baby onion and a 4cm cut of celery. No sign of the Parisienne sweet potato, red apple puree or cauliflower crisps… really just unacceptable to say the least.

Osso Bucco came in a gigantic portion, double the amount of couscous to meat, and just a dollop of sauce. As I don’t eat meat, I can’t give much of an opinion on this – but it evident that this was not too great from the fact that not even one of the pieces of meat was eaten, and did not receive rave reviews from the rest of the table.

In all honesty, I think the Seared salmon option was the best of the lot…keeping in mind that it does not take a lot of talent from any kind of food to be better than any of the described dished, in fact I think McCain pre-frozen veggies, that are steamed with a smidge of béchamel or a simple grating of cheese would outshine them all. But hey, perhaps that’s just me.

Dessert, which is customarily my favourite part of any given meal, we completely skipped, as we could only imagine the catastrophes that would come out of the kitchen.

 

All and all – disaster.

And what mind-boggles me the most, is that this is a supposed “5 star” exclusive venue, hosting extremely expensive weddings. Now dear management, if you, your service team and kitchen struggle on a Sunday afternoon lunch service – not fully booked might I add, perhaps half ( and this is not a big restaurant ); then how in the world do you handle a wedding?

There is a saying – the higher the pitch, the lower the profit. I could not think of a better description for this “elite” restaurant. Leave the penguin suits, top hats, and fancy descriptions at the door – and rather focus on producing good and proper food.

Avoid at all cost!! Rather order pizza.

Until we eat again…

Casparus, Stellenbosch – Just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to…

The chef of the restaurant was one of the first professionally trained chefs, all the way from Belgium, in South Africa and produced amazing food in the heydays.

He then disappeared from the food scene for a couple of years – in which the Cape winelands grew to be THE destination for decadent dining.

Situated in an art gallery in Dorp street in Stellenbosch, it look intriguing and contemporary. The menu and combinations are set-out to match this vibe.

Some odd combinations which one would easily have gagged about a couple of years back, are now as common as bread and butter, and you struggle to think of a time when you would not want salted chocolate, chocolate and chilly, strawberry’s with balsamic and black pepper, or even fillet with a chocolate sauce.

Ethienne Bonthuys is riding on this wave, but taking it to extremes – and unfortunately he’s crashing into a boulder with most of his weird combinations.

 

The signature dish is calamari with oxtail…I saw that face-pulling action going on just now, and rightly so. It tastes exactly as it sound – and even worse if the calamari is underdone, which it was when we dined there. Another 2 of the most bizarre combinations – Kingklip with a dark red wine and balsamic sauce; and then it’s counter – Fillet with a fishy/prawn white wine sauce? In both cases it was commented that the sauces were really nice – but did not fit with the protein at all, these two should have been swapped around and he would have had a winner.  Fortunately I am a vegetarian and had the privilege not to taste these extremely peculiar combinations.

I had a stuffed giant mushroom (and I was a happy camper seeing this on the menu as this is one of my favourite things). In all honesty I was not aware that it was possible to do a bad job at stuffing a mushroom. Some spinach, pine-nuts and goat-cheese should be one of the most elementary things, apparently not.

 

Dessert is probably my favourite part of a meal, but after the meal itself, we were all so put off that we skipped dessert and coffee.
(You’ll notice that I do not even have pictures – which is a very rare occasion for me not to take pictures of the lovely food everyone is eating.)

 

The setting is creative and unusually inspiring, unlike the food.
The service, or rather lack thereof is rather shocking, and super slow. On the evening we dined there, only one waiter was to be seen for the entire restaurant, albeit only 2 tables had patrons. Which confuses me even more – if this restaurant and food is all that and a bag of chips, why only 2 tables booked on a weekend evening? And how is it possible that the waiter struggles so with serving these two tables?

 

My advice ( to the chef and his combo’s, as well as the unsuspecting patrons) – just because you can, doesn’t mean you have to.

There are so many gorgeous restaurants in this area that leave you desiring to go back for more – do not waste your time at Casparus.

 

Happy Monday, I wish you all a lovely week.
Until we eat again…

Hatunpa, Arequipa – The Humble Potato, remains very humble

As a vegetarian I was excited to the max when reading about this little nook, with only four tables – a proper little hole in the wall, which is said to serve amazing food, all based on the humble potato.
Due to the fact that the humble potato originates from Peru, and that there are said to be almost 200 varieties of this nation feeder to be found in Peru, what better way to experience the potato in all its glory at Hatunpa, where the owner speaks English fluently and (as expressed in one of the reviews I remember reading) explains the differences in the varieties of potato.

Upon our arrival, we were a little surprised to find that the only person there, who seated and served us, could not speak a word of English! As this was the only person who worked there, we assumed that this was the owner, and confusion set in due to the review of the English speaking owner who loves to explain about potatoes.
We ordered a beer with a little difficulty, and set about ready the menu, a little disappointed that we would not be getting a lecture on the humble potatoes and the hundreds of varieties…

We were busy ordering our meals, and I was trying to get an understanding of a certain thing on the menu the man of the hour walked in and came to the rescue. The English speaking owner existed after all, and he graciously offered us a taste of the unidentifiable, which I was seeking an understanding for when he walked in. This turned out to be purple or black corn juice. Not bad I have to say, but rather sweet – a good alternative for someone that likes Coke or Inka Cola.

 

Unfortunately there was absolutely no explanation regarding the varieties of potatoes or the origin at all. Even after prodding and asking questions such as “we’ve heard that there are up to 200 varieties of potatoes in Peru?!” we only got a “yes, there are many kinds of potatoes and sweet potatoes”.

Service is average best, and I have to say that my idea of a heart-warming potato dish was not what I imagined at all. A plate of cold sliced potato, one regular, and one sweet potato, topped with cubes of tomato and hard little blocks of cheese and what seemed like an entire raw sliced onion. Not quite the oozing melting dish I was expecting at all. This has to be one of my worst vegetarian meals ever.
The other two had better luck, with a chicken and spinach topping with a creamy cheese sauce, and meat cubes with red pepper and onions – unfortunately almost no sauce on this one either.

A casual little corner, with lots of competition.
As far as vegetarian and vegan dishes go – I would avoid this unless you prefer a plate of dry potato and bland flavours.

Definately does not deserve it's number 2 spot on the list of best restaurants in Arequipa.

 

Happy Wednesday to all,

Until we eat again...

Le Soleil, Cuzco - The Fast-food of French cuisine

Aha, finally the time has come – and my fist restaurant is a bit of a shame, which after the owner’s petty comments and bad attitude on tripadvisor, has now turned into a big name and shame!

 

Whenever travelling I always have a look at restaurants on tripadvisor to see real-time opinions and reviews from “real-people”.

This French restaurant in the heart of Cuzco is rated as the number 1 in all of Cuzco – with many people raving about the interior of the restaurant, and claiming that you will struggle to find better French food, even in Paris! Now that is a bold statement to make.

To me this sounded like heaven! I love proper French food, and after traveling for between 24-18 hours, what could be more satisfying than a little bit of lush French cuisine?

 

This massive expectations we walked down the cobblestone street to Le Soleil. We were the only customers there, but thought perhaps we were early and this might be a pro, as it is not packed yet our food would be served a little quicker – we were starving.

 

The host and owner was very friendly and was happy to answer any questions about the menu, which looked rather yummy. And lucky me there was a veggie starter and main.

For starters we had the ginger pumpkin crème with truffle – this was really nice, nothing spectacular and no sign of the promised truffle, but a warming ginger flavour. Snails in butter and herb sauce – which was just that, nothing more, nothing less (presentation was lacking though). And the Avo Swilrs, this is avocado strips rolled and filled with cubed veggies such as tomato, cucumber and aubergine – a little bland, and actually a pretty presented four ingredient salad.

 

Mains were duck breast and I had ratatouille. The duck was nicely cooked, but no lush sauce or veggies to compliment this; and my ratatouille was pretty much a warm version of my starter, substituting the cucumber for baby marrow, and the avo for carrot.

 

Now maybe it’s just me, but I am 100% certain that it’s not, no-one goes to a restaurant and orders a main and expects just a chunk of protein, or a scoop of a cooked vegetables (and this comment is not only regarding Le Soleil – but I might as well rant about it now and get it over with).

Where is the harm in putting a portion of side veggies, salad, potato, sauce on a plate?? That’s right – no harm, in fact only goodness. You are ordering a meal after all. I see this “trend” sticking out it’s ugly little head in all the more restaurants, and frankly I think it’s ridiculous! Stop squeezing the money for your well-paying clients greedy restaurateurs! Tisk tisk tisk!

 

Anyway, back to our evening at Le Soleil. For dessert we had the chocolate fondant as someone on mention this to be the best fondant they’ve ever eaten; and the mango, tonka bean and passion fruit mousse – the passion fruit was super sour, you could taste nothing else, and also did not want to take a second bite for fear of burning a hole in your aorta with the sour acid ( a little dramatic, I know), surely the chef should taste what he puts on a plate? Unfortunately the fondant, which was supposed to be the king of the evening turned out to be a peasant in disguise. No rich chocolate lava flowing out when cutting open… An overcooked fondant for any restaurant is a no-no, and especially for a French restaurant, this is the mother of all no-no’s.

 

So all in all it was not the worst meal I’ve ever had, but most certainly not the best. There is not one thing that we ate that was exceptional or even great. I think due to the fact that this place received such amazing reviews it was an ever bigger disappointment, as we arrived with huge expectations.

In all honesty, the people that commented on that you could not find better French food, even in Paris – I’m having a sneaky feeling that they’ve probably never been to Paris, and the rest of the raving reviews might well be the owner himself, or his close friends… as we were the only table there for the evening. Does this sound like the kind of place that is the best in a city? Empty during the festive season? No, it does not.

 

Do not be fooled, give this a miss when in Cuzco.

 

Until we eat again…

Tony's Spaghetti Grill, Randpark Ridge - Jack of all trades, master of none.

I find it rather appalling that all “Italian” restaurants these days are moulded from the exact same mould, like a cookie cutter. Same interior, same menu, same music, same table clothes.

Is there no originality left? And if all these served proper Italian food – and not a 3^rd world country’s idea of Italian-style food, I might be ok with that…however this is not the case.

After an extreme delay in going to dine at Tony’s Spaghetti Grill in Randpark Ridge, with good reason – as mentioned above – I finally went.

Surprise surprise!! This is probably the mother of the cookie cutter Italian restaurants. Then again, they do sort-of warn you about this, stating on their own website that they serve al fresco style food.

The massive double volume restaurant with terraces on both side, are filled to the max with tables. Gives me the feeling of cattle being herded together.

Plain 3 colour (another surprise) interior; a less than average wine list, opposing the extensive food menu and not very attentive staff (which in all honesty is not the staff’s fault, but the doing of management by over stocking the barn with customers).

The extensive menu ranges from pizza and pasta to salads; anti-pasta’s to steak and seafood, pork, chicken, lamb and vegetables; and even more tit-bits in-between.  Now the problem with menu’s like these that make your head spin, in my experience, is basically – Jack of all trades, master of none.

It is simply not possible to have a menu of 8 pages, and be able to produce all dishes with care and perfection.

Have a pizza and pasta menu, and make the best darn pizza base and fresh pasta you possibly can, and be proud. Or Have a seafood restaurant, and serve beautifully fresh bites of ocean, I don’t care how you split them up really – but do not, ever attempt to put all that the lands produce offers on your menu.

The salads are not bad, but stacked with ice-berg lettuce, and very little topping. But again – not bad.

The pizza base is mediocre, yes there is a big pizza oven – this means nothing if you do not produce a thin crust that crunches in your mouth, and a golden, bubbly, stringy grilled cheese topping.  Meat wise – well I can only say from what I saw and what a heard from my trusty companions: average, but the mushroom sauce that accompanied the rib-eye was as white as snow, and tasted that way too.

Look, I’m not saying it’s revolting. What I am saying is that I simply do  not understand the hype around this place, and how they keep so busy? I can understand that if you usually have a microwave meal for dinner, that this would be a real treat – other than that, no, I can’t fathom why. Everything is average, nothing is great. I would not go back to this mass producing cookie cutter Italian-STYLE restaurant.

But apparently to the sheep of JHB with little food knowledge – this is a gem.

My personal opinion – keep to the right and pass along swiftly.

 Trust your instincts, until we eat again…

Coobs, Parkhurst - One word to describe this experience

After delaying an outing to the new restaurant Coobs on 4th Ave in Parkhurst for about a month, I finally had the chance to have lunch there yesterday (Sunday 10 Feb 2013). With an empty stomach and high hopes I was quite excited to be seated at this full restaurant. However the service was shocking and the food less than mediocre…

We were given only one menu for our table of four customers, waited 50min for our starters and when they finally arrived, it was not the food we had ordered….

The wild mushroom carpaccio was a disgrace, the fish was old and mushy and I am actually at a loss for words at the deconstructed chicken pie. The gnocchi was edible and the blue cheese parcel is the only thing I can truly say was appetising (bar the lack of blue cheese).

I have one word to describe our experience at Coobs, it starts with S and ends with a T, and it’s not sweet…